laurelpants

only a few friends.
And so when my few friends start making friends it worries me.
I become paranoid that they'll leave me and I won't have any friends.
I also hate when I make a friend, introduce a friend to that friend, and then the friend I introduced the other friend to likes the person I introduced them to more than me. I hate that.
But I do love peaches!

Yesterday I woke up really goddamn early. My mom is leaving for work at insane hours now, I guess so she can have a week off for when we move. What I thought the moving thing was, was that me and my brother would go off for a year and my mom would work on being able to teach. So then when we got back everything would be a lot more settled and we wouldn't all be miserable. It really sucks that when you go to college you don't always do what you really want to do because you live in fear of what others might think, or you obtain a degree you like but not love because then you're stuck with a job you can't stand after 10 years. I feel so bad for my mom, she should have become an artist.
Anyway, when we come back from our year long vacation in Missouri, I might be living in PSL. So not only am I missing out on Latin for one year, I won't be able to take it the following 2 years I have left in high school. So I'll have to go to a new school my junior year too, which means I'll have to make MORE friends. I can't make friends to save my life, cool.
I don't know what I'm going to do if I have to be neighbors with my aunt, uncle, and their weird bible-hugging kids. I think I'll just get into a lot of trouble and do things I don't want to. PLUS I'll be compared to them all the time -they'll be taller, they'll be smarter, they'll be better off, they'll be happy, they'll have friends.

I should talk to my therapist about this today.

After waking up early, I really wanted to go swimming. But my mom couldn't tell me where the keys were so I painted instead. ThepaintingcameoutreallybadT_T I'm going to fix it today.
Laura picked me up around 1 I guess and we went to some place I didn't like. Then we came back to my house and I wouldn't let her on the internet because I hate Alex. Alex looks like Tyler Levenson. Alex has an eating disorder. Alex doesn't even live in Florida. Alex is a faggot. I don't want to hear about Alex anymore, Laura. He was supposed to bring peaches to Goodwill, but he didn't. I slept over at Laura's house so that when she went out with Alex and his friends I'd be there too, but we didn't meet up with them at all. I like sleeping at my house, not Laura's. Laura's house is...not my home. I miss my mom.